Pretty funny email from my friend, Belden, who, WAS a Republican but apparently has finally seen the light …
Happy election!
> Dear Red States:
>
> If you manage to steal this election too we’ve
> decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own
> country , and we’re taking the other Blue States
> with us. In case you aren’t aware , that includes
> California , Hawaii , Oregon , Washington ,
> Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all
> the Northeast. We believe this split will be
> beneficial to the nation , and especially to the
> people of the new country of New California.
>
> To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all
> the slave states. We get stem cell research and the
> best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get
> Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
> WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get
> 85% of America ’s venture capital and entrepreneurs.
> You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax
> revenue , you get to make the red states pay their
> fair share.
>
> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than
> the Christian Coalition’s , we get a bunch of happy
> families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be
> aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
> anti-war , and we’re going to want all our citizens
> back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight
> , ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re
> apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
> purpose , and they don’t care if you don’t show
> pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We
> do wish you success in
> Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up , but we’re
> not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s
> Quagmire.
>
> With the Blue States in hand , we will have firm
> control of 80% of the country’s fresh water , more
> than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce , 92% of the
> nation’s fresh fruit , 95% of America’s quality
> wines , 90% of all cheese , 90% of the high tech
> industry , 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks
> Iowa!) , most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal , all
> living redwoods , sequoias and condors , all the Ivy
> and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford , Cal Tech
> and MIT.
>
> With the Red States , on the other hand , you will
> have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and
> their projected health care costs) , 92% of all U.S.
> mosquitoes , nearly 100% of the tornadoes , 90% of
> the hurricanes , 99% of all Southern Baptists ,
> virtually 100% of all televangelists , Rush Limbaugh
> , Bob Jones University , Clemson and the University
> of Georgia.
>
> We get Holly wood and Yosemite , thank you.
> Additionally , 38% of those in the Red states
> believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale ,
> 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing
> the war , the death penalty or gun laws , 44% say
> that evolution is only a theory , 53% that Saddam
> was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards
> believe you are people with higher morals then we
> lefties.
>
> > Peace out ,
> Blue States
