This is my favorite newest expression  … what do you think?  Here’s how it came about:  “Christ on a cross!” used to be a fave for me.  My dear friend, Y, misunderstood and started saying “Christ on a stick” as if Christ were a s’more or a hot dog.  Then, when the Lady Gaga song came out, well, it was all over but the crying.  I frequently receive emails with the subject line “Christ is Definitely on the Disco Stick Today.”

I’ve spent the entire day trying to get the song “I Saw Your Mommy and Your Mommy’s Dead” by Suicidal Tendencies out of my head.  Then my co-worker, Jason, decided to up the ante by singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”  I want to kill him.  And I’m still at work.  And I have cramps.  I think I need a Xanax.  Luckily, I, of course, have some on me.  Thank God for unethical doctors!

This is the first of what I’m sure will turn out to be many posts about the artist formerly known as my boyfriend (now known as Senor Douchebag around these parts) … I was just talking about this the other night with my v. good friend, Yvonne (not her real name-more on that later) and it’s been on my mind.  I think I should have known that our relationship was doomed when we had a fight about muppets.  Yes, that’s right … I said muppets.  For whatever reason, we were talking about our favorite muppets.  Mine, of course, being Miss Piggy.  When questioned as to why she was my favorite, I answered “because she’s cool and wears great clothes and karate-chops people!”  I think that is a totally fair answer.  In response, SD barked at me “that’s stupid!  That’s not the right way to determine your favorite muppet!”  He wasn’t kidding.  Yes, that’s right.  I was reprimanded for judging muppets by an improper criteria.  Perhaps it’s not so bad that things ended.

After making this big deal about blogging again, I don’t get a chance to post a god-damned thing today.  *Sigh*  Sorry all … I’ve been feeling “under the weather” for weeks now and this day has just slipped away.  I have a lot on my mind, as always, but I’m beat.  It’s 11 p.m. and I need to take my Ambien and get right into bed so I don’t have another Ambien “incident” (see the great “Lisa eats a whole cake while drugged” incident of October ‘09.) 

I PROMISE I’ll be on tomorrow and make it worth your while.  Sweet dreams, all and may none of you wake up vomiting in the middle of the night due to an unfortunate late-night feeding.  Mwah!

#34, Walter Payton, died 10 years ago of bile duct cancer (which, btw, I am convinced that I have … the internet and hypochondria do not mix).  Anyway, this is the tribute video they played yesterday at Soldier for the toughest runner and one of the greatest guys to ever play the game.  A true class act.  There will never be another like him … R.I.P. Sweetness … we miss you.

http://www.chicagobears.com/WalterPayton.asp

I’m back. I’ve been wanting to resume posting for a while now but everytime I thought about re-starting, it seemed an insurmountable task. And I was super busy with Navy Boy who has become Navy Douche. That will be a post all it’s own. Or 75 posts. One of the two. Anyway … I’m drafting a loooooonger post for your viewing pleasure. In the meantime, watch this space. And if you’re happy I’m back, thank Mr. Music who gave me enormous piles of shit this weekend about not posting.

at least that’s how it feels today.  I know that everyone has bad moods but why do people feel fine about taking out their moods on everyone else?  Even at my worst, I always try to keep in relatively good humor with other people.  I’m so effing sick of the people close to me feeling that it’s fine to be moody and snappish with me.  Unacceptable.  Anyway, I know I haven’t posted in like a month and this is hardly a happy way to come back (see … me thinking of others AGAIN!) but it’s just on my mind.  My friends Mama Music and Kim always seem to be totally even-keel … I cannot remember even once when they took out a bad mood on me.  Krevasse is always upbeat too.  Maybe the key is that I need to spend more time with people like that and less time with the moody bastards.  I’m so over it.

First Bea Arthur and now Dom … very sad.  2 hysterically funny people gone.  My tribute to Dom … “The French Mistake” from “Blazing Saddles” … one of the funniest movies ever.

Sooo … here’s the topic upon which I have spent much too much thought today:  do I or do I not go to my high school reunion?  (Obviously, I need more hobbies or perhaps more interesting work.)

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you’ll know that I don’t have the greatest fondness for: Horizon High School and/or Scottsdale, Arizona.  I wasn’t a complete loser in high school or anything but I just never really felt like I fit in with people.  Nor did I really want to fit in with the vast majority.  They appeared to be a bunch of non-thinking, bible-banging followers, for the most part.  O.K., maybe that’s a bit harsh but … hmmm … no, I guess I have to stick with that.  Oh, and super right-wing.  Did I leave that out? 

Anyway, my 20 (gulp!) year reunion is coming up in October.  I did attend my 10 year and had a fun (and very drunken) time.  There are definitely some people I’d like to reconnect with but … for the most part, I feel totally uninterested in reliving that portion of my life.  I guess I’m still emotionally scarred from being told that I was “going to Hell” because I was Jewish or perhaps from being shown hideous pro-Life videos in class.  Or both.  Plus, I’m not sure I could coerce Navy Boy into this shindig nor do I really want him to attend.  I’m thinking it’s a “no.”  I’m over it.  I do have some great friends from h.s. but I talk to those people on a regular basis.  And, like I said, there’s some people I didn’t know that well that I’ve had a chance to get to know better.  But, for the most part, I could give a good goddamn about the rest of my h.s. class.  I don’t have any ill will, just complete apathy.  What do you think?  Suck it up and go or bail?  I may have to give this some more thought but I’m definitely leaning towards “no way, Jose.”

Just because … I’ve decided it’s Pretenders tribute day.  This is a great live performance.  R.I.P. Jimmy and Pete.